Whatever you do, do not buy the Picobong Mahana. In short, it hurts like a motherfucker.

I got mine from Babeland in exchange for an honest review, and a few short months later they are no longer carrying it, which I imagine is due to the fact that it sucks so hard its very presence in their catalogue was harming their reputation. Fortunately they offer a variety of other awesome vibrators that do not suck for your jerking off pleasure, and literally ANYTHING will be a better option.

But back to the Mahana. What’s so horrible about it, you ask?

Well…

1) It’s rigidly C shaped, in some sort of we-vibe rip off attempt without any flexability. How its supposed to be positioned is beyond me because attempting to get it into place hurt. Badly, actually.

2) It takes two separate batteries for each of its motors, and the controls individual as well. So that’s double the on switches and double the off switches. Oh and if it could actually be inserted into place, the controls for the inserted arm would be, well…inserted.

3) Batteries are loaded in by simply unscrewing the silicone potion from the plastic. This is great and all, till you realize this seam is inserted and thus gets saturated with juices. Clean up is NOT a breeze.

4) The rigid C shape is so terrible, it makes me wonder if someone who’s never touched a vagina came up with the design.

5) Each motor runs on only one battery, and surprise surprise they are lame and buzzy and frustrating.

I suppose this toy could work for some, but to me its just such a miss it makes me wonder how Lelo could fuck up so bad.

So do yourself a favor – avoid it at all costs.

I love my hitachi, and that’s no secret. Its pretty much damn well perfect as is, even with its faults (the noise, the horribly porous head…) but when a new hitachi cap crosses my radar it always peaks my attention. So when Babeland offered the deluxe G-Spotter in exchange for an honest review, I just had to give it a try.

In A Nutshell: A wonderful g-spotting hitachi cap.

What’s Awesome? The soft silicone allows it to mold to your shape perfectly to allow transmission of the intense hitachi vibrations directly to your g-spot

What’s Not So Awesome? Not much!

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

The Deluxe G-Spotter is made from pliable, shiny, purple silicone. Its gonzo nose is curved, flexible and features a flat tip – the perfect combination to allow g-spot targeting. I have found that although the cap’s dimensions aren’t perfect for hitting my g-spot, as soon as it warms up it’s flexibly allows it to mold to my shape rather effortlessly. Now of course, being soft and flexible means that it can’t press firmly against my g-spot (which is generally a requirement for successful g-spotting) but the fact that the cap then transmits the intense vibrations of the hitachi pretty much makes up for that.

The Deluxe G-spotter’s charms are not limited to its gonzo nose; the cap also includes a clit nub out of that same soft flexible silicone that does a fabulous job of clit stimulation. Granted, personal anatomical layout defines how well this numb will line up with a particular clit but the silicone’s flexibly really does allow favorable positioning of the wand cap in order to make the clit nub and the G-spotting tip to line up properly. In other words, strap on the cap, flip the switch, and prepare for a wild ride.

The cap is easy to clean – soap and water or toy cleaner for day to day cleanup; boiling if you want heavier sanitization. The cap is made from the sort of silicone that loves to pick up hair and lint so its going to need a rinse before use 99% of the time. The cap is easier to clean – by a long shot – than the normal hitachi’s head…but unfortunately use of the cap makes for a wetter experience than the hitachi alone, so the added benefit is really tempered by that added complication.

You see, a long time ago when I was brand new to sex toys, the original Smartballs rocked my world in every way imaginable. For reasons I really do not understand, that first set of Smartballs (which I still have, although they are certainly looking bedraggled) is a highly stimulating anomaly in the world of smartballs. I have picked up two replacement sets over the years, and they just feel like nothing-nada-zip.

I first theorized that perhaps the different colors (my first set was black and silver, second set pink on pink) were to blame for my replacement set feeling like nothing (differences in material density, or something), but I actually purchased a new set in that same black and silver and still: numb-nuts nothing. This has led me to conclude that Fun Factory somehow changed their Smartball design after 2005, and now they suck.

Sadness, right?

Still, this experience has left me with the belief that this idea of Kegal balls can work, and has led me down a mostly bitter path of seeking something that perhaps doesn’t exist anywhere but in pre- 2005 Smartballs (seriously: what. the. fuck. is up with that?). So far, I have not found anything that works for me – even the extremely popular Lelo Luna beads left me numb.

When Fun Factory came out with the Teneo Smartballs range, I basically hoped beyond all hope that Fun Factory had taken that awesome pre-2005 design (whatever it was) and had moved it to this newer version of Smartballs. But alas, this is not the case. These Smartball Teneo Kegel Balls, as Goodvibes likes to call them, just make me feel like my vagina is broken and/or cavernous, like every other set of veg balls I have tried (except, of course, my 2005 set of Smartballs). No amount of clever positioning helps – they just don’t really ‘jiggle’, and without jiggling, there’s no stimulation. Lame.

Of course, the Smartballs Teneo does feature some nice perks above and beyond classic smart balls (any many of the other vag balls on the market). They’re silicone, even retrieval ‘string’ so they can be boiled for effective sanitization if you’re so inclined. They’re on the bigger size, as vag balls go, so they’re more likely to be stimulating (because apparently they work well for other people) if your vagina prefers a bit more fullness in general. And heck, if you’re worried about the two balls being too much, they also come in a single ball version as well. Gotta like that. Conversely, if you have small pussy syndrome, these may not the the best option for you.

Anyways, thanks to Good Vibrations Sex Toys for letting me give Teneo Duo a try; too bad they didn’t do it for me at all. I know there’s nothing wrong with my vagina, because it is capable of all sorts of magificent, amazing and wonderful things, but like most vag balls these ones have left me feeling that “Daymn, what’s wrong with me? Am I cavernous? Lacking nerve endings?” feeling. What a bummer.

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

What’s Awesome? Slick colors, sophisticated styling, completely waterproof and rechargeable and easy to use.

What’s Not So Awesome? It’s loud, and the charger is huge

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

I really wanted to like the Buzzlet. The price ($79) is right for a rechargeable waterproof vibe with a variety of patterns, and it does perform well in the power department…but it makes a lot of noise, and the charger is just plain big and clunky, which leaves a sour taste in my (perhaps jaded) mouth.

Let me explain.

The Buzzlet charges via induction by sitting on the cradle of its white plastic charger. In addition to this charger having a big footprint, the Buzzlet is anchored into place by a vertical rod that the hole on its body slides onto. I am not sure if this rod serves any purpose other than correctly orienting the Buzzlet for charging, but it makes the charger unnecessarily big. It cannot slip into a skinny bedside drawer, for example, which is what I ask at bare minimum. In fact, the charger was so weird it didn’t fit into the box that I keep chargers in, which was a bad sign right off the bat.

Charger issues aside, the Buzzlet is a fine toy, albeit a little noisy as vibes go. It is controlled via a single button on the white side of its body, which, when pushed, cycles through the different vibration patterns the Buzzlet offers. To turn the Buzzlet off, you have to push the button for an extended period of time – but then again, not too much, or it will think it’s being turned back on. This was mildly irritating, but manageable.

In use, the Buzzlet performs well. Its shape is that of a fat stubby cigar, meaning it works well as a clit vibe (unless you really, really need pin-point vibrations) and also works decently well for a little bit of penetration. The hole on its body which is used to orient it properly during charging makes a fine finger hold to allows excellent control in the face of slippery lube covered hands. And, it seems to hang onto a charge forever – coming out of the depths of my toy box after any length of time with just as much charge as it was left with. Not many rechargeable vibes actually hold onto their charge and don’t trickle down while being neglected, so this is an admirable feature. This excellent charge keeping capactity extends to the length of time the Buzzlet buzzes – it always seems like it’s always good to go, no matter how long it has been since its last charge. The only other rechargeable vibes I have ever played with that have this kind of longevity are those by Lelo, which are at a higher price-point and are not waterproof, so this is really an admirable feature.

Let me tell you, making a baby was not tough. It was, in fact, pretty darned fun. It didn’t happen as fast as I thought it might, and I’ll admit to getting ever so slightly worried when a few months passed with no luck…but then it came together and its been a whirlwind ever since.

Pregnancy has been confusing for my body. My doctor very kindly prescribed no sex and no orgasms after a touch of spotting a few weeks in, and by the end of that month my body was literally sobbing for sexual contact, but my mind was pretty settled chastity I was surprised at how rapidly my rapidly developing mothering instincts booted the sexual deviant inside of me back as far as possible into the neither reaches of my consciousnesses. The worst part about the whole thing was that the physical things otherwise happening to me were exquisite. My cunt seems more aroused all the time. My nipples have taken to being acutely sensitive and rock hard all day long. My clit begs for attention and seems ready to blow at the slightest of touches. In short, when my doctor ordered a sex free diet, my body rebelled.

I survived, of course. That month has long passed and I am back in the saddle again. I am cumming differently – I squirt so very much right now, and my clit is not very interested in heavy duty hitachi action, or any real direct vibration for that matter. I just want penetration, and lots of it, pretty much all day long. Perhaps its just the phase right now, but I am insatiable. And my nipples – good lord, how they ache. I pulled out my nipple piercing in anticipation of breastfeeding, and also, because I couldn’t handle the added sensitivity in that one nipple.

Changes will continue, I am sure, and perhaps my sexual appetite will wane. All I know is, I am so ready to kick back, relax, and enjoy this amazing journey. Wish me luck!

It’s trouble, however, and I am fooling myself. I deeply miss running loose in the sex positive world and I’m terrified whenever I think about how ravenous my kinky self will be when I finally let her out for a romp on the wild side again, and yet I keep that part of me tucked away deep and close at all times. What’s my deal? It’s nothing special, nothing unique – I’m busy, work is going great yada yada yada. And it’s true – I constantly wish there were more hours in the day to do more work and my work, my friends, is not at all sexy. Classic right? Not enough hours in the day for responsibilities, let alone the stuff you actually want to do.

A problem has emerged from this non-voluntary apathy towards my sex positive self , however. I have been completely monogamous for over a year now, which is totally fine and feels like the right thing right now – but it also means I am not talking about being poly all that much and my marriage has been lulled into a sort of poly-apathy. The discussions only get rawer and rawer as this continues, it seems, almost like it was back when we were first talking about poly, before ever diving in in the first place. Maybe this is just our process, who knows, but I can’t help but shake the feeling that if I don’t keep it as an active issue, it will be removed from the table between us, and although I’m feeling mellow about the whole thing right now nothing will change the fact that I am poly. Things will not go well if this issue is pressed; I know myself well enough to get that, and Roi knows it too. Its complicated and interesting – to me, at least – maybe me being actively poly is a key ingredient to harmony in my household with Roi. It was a reality for the majority of our life together.

Anyways, this blog, it seems, is still a useful outlet. Maybe some day I’ll think of something sexy to write.

Glorious, isn’t it? The Lelo Soraya is really something that is beyond all compare – beautiful curves, bold lines, glorious craftsmanship.

What’s Awesome? Everything about this toy is awesome, make no mistake. There is no way to knock this toy on any feature, because it does everything you might want it to do.

What’s Not So Awesome? The price. I just can’t go over the top in my ravings about this toy because the MSRP is just so danged high. Worth it, yes, but a total splurge.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

The Lelo insignia line is a bold move for Lelo – a second tier, top shelf line. Lelo toys are ‘top shelf’ in many regards no matter what toy we’re talking about, and they are well known for producing quality orgasm inducing machines. There are only three offerings in the insignia line, but they are well selected to be the creme of the crop, and the ‘dual’ offering is called Soraya.

The Soraya gets me off fast and easy. I love it to bits. Many a dual action vibe has crossed my path over the years, and most I can manage to get to work for me with a bit of pulling and tugging. One or two have impressed me enough for some continued use, but most ultimately end up collecting dust in a corner. I think the fact that Saroya is essentially a long g-spotting vibe with a stationary (yet second motored) ‘thumb’ at its base is what does it for me – the clit stimulation is thus not overwhelming unless I thrust deep and torque it back and forth (then it grinds quite hard). Whatever the case may be, it feels great, and I find it to be a very nice way of getting that feeling of penetration in combination with clit stimulation without it being this intense clit assault.

Of course, all the standard awesomeness applies. The Soraya is waterproof, rechargeable, easy to control, very quiet, very smooth, very powerful. It holds its charge for ages, and seems to give a lot of play time out of a single charge. I find I rarely charge my Lelo toys, but they always seems to have a charge when I reach for them. The Soraya is, however, expensive. You can probably find it on sale if you have some p-atience and looks round, but the MSRP is $199. Since you should probably expect to get like two orgasms per dollar of sex toy (this is my rule of thumb) that’s a pretty high expectation, but I imagine Soraya, if given a chance, would eventually deliver all three hundred and ninety eight of those orgasms.

Thanks so much to Lelo for giving me this gorgeous and fabulous toy in exchange for an honest review. I am one lucky girl.

What’s Awesome? This controller allows the magic wand to have control beyond the stock “low” and “high” (rather, high and extra-high) in a dial from zero to high. Finally, attenuation.

What’s Not So Awesome? It is clunky and big and awkward, no two ways about it.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

This product is really a niche product, but it’s a big niche because there are many many magic wand lovers out there. Oh sure, you could just buy a different wand that has a built in dial type control – heck, maybe even cordlessness - but for those die-hard hitachi lovers (you know who you are) this product is a must have.

The benefits are almost self explanatory. How awesome is it to be able to dial back on the oomph to ride out the pre-orgasmic plateau just…a….little….bit….longer? How delicious is the fact that you can turn it to a barely present low after a sharp intense climax to avoid overload but keep things flowing in hopes of revving up to a second climax? For the sensitive among us, how fantastic to be able to use the hitachi without layers of intervening paddings for protection?

This product is not without it’s flaws, however. It lacks elegance, in a nutshell….but then, if we’re being honest so does the hitachi. The wand controller puts a ‘kink’ into your power line between your power line plugged into the wall and the hitachi itself because these two cords come out of the same side of the controller box. The power cord used in this product is not very smooth to uncoil – it’s got a folded up pattern fused into it’s memory and it is very stiff and unwielding. This may improve more and more over time, it’s hard to say, but I do store it bundled up so at the same time I think it’s probably always going to be a bit awkward to uncoil. Instead of struggling with it, I just use and extension cord, which is not ideal but doesn’t annoy me during use. Still, for the price, it does its job perfectly and allows extra functionality that the hitachi does not have stock out of the box.

And I should note: the combination of the Liberator Axis Hitachi, Wand controller and Hitachi is amazing when used during sex or solo play.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

In a Nutshell: The G-Ki is really a vibrator in a class all it’s own, offering an unparalleled level of customization in a great vibrator package

What’s Not So Awesome? It’s hard to find flaws with this toy. Even the charging, which is through two magnetic spots on the toy, is cool.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

The G-Ki is a cool toy. It features two move-able joints: one at the tip, for precision in the amount of hook in the toy, and the other nearer to the middle for adjustment to overall angle. Both joints can hold three positions of increasing kink angle by simply squeezing the joint and positioning it as required. This is brilliant, because the toy can conceivably be made to work well on anyone in any hands. That’s powerful, if you think about it – especially considering the fact that the G-Ki can be slipped into a condom so easily (and besides, it is silicone so can be otherwise sanitized with a soak in a 10% bleach solution). You could be the absolute *life* of the party…

Now I love – love – the Lelo Gigi. To me, the G-Ki fills the same ‘niche’ in sex toys – small, rechargeable, g-spotter. The Gigi is not waterproof and costs a little more, so the G-Ki is almost clearly a better product given that it is all that double jointed as well. Except, here’s the thing….I like my Gigi more. The answer couldn’t be more simple: I like the flat end of the Gigi way more than I do rounded tipped vibrators, including the G-Ki. Design a G-Ki with a flat head like the Gigi and I would be an instant buyer, because overall design wise, it’s a superior toy in so many ways.