Posted by red on July 7th, 2008 in Dildo, Review, Sex Toys

It seems like just yesterday that I learned there was more to sex toys than pink sparkly jellee. My eyes opened to the joys of silicone and I’ve never looked back. Lately I’ve become curious about other sex toy materials, especially so called green materials – metal, wood, glass. I’ve reviewed three glass toys, but never metal or wood. Hans of Hardwood Dildos was kind enough to indulge me with one of his wooden creations.

What’s Not So Awesome? Nothing at all. I vaguely wish I could award more stars to this toy – but 5 is enough. It’s well made and worth every penny.

Rating:

Hardwood Dildos by Hans is a small company that produces quality handmade wooden dildos. Some of the pictures of the website make me think of the sort of artisan I’d see at a summer Sunday market – a booth full of wooden dildos tucked between booths for retro t-shirts and the hand made cheeses. Sadly, I’ve never been to a craft fair cool enough to have a handmade dildo vendor, but I continue to dream. In the meantime, Hans’ hardwood creations can be bought online through his website, or can be picked up at a few higher quality adult stores scattered around the states.

Hardwood dildos come in a plethora of sizes and shapes – in part, I assume, to the contours of the wood from which they come. If you browse around on Hans’ site, you’ll find an excellent variety of curves, bulbs, bumps, penis heads and smooth shafts. The dildos are shaped by hand from pieces of wood Hans is able to find – you can even request a custom made dildo if none of the offered models meet your fancy. The design I settled on was curved (we like curves) sharply with bumps along one side and a smooth shaft along the other. It was interesting to me that Hans had so many different designs – but it kind of makes sense. Every woman’s ultimate dildo looks a little different – so why not make as wide a variety of shapes as possible? Still, I must admit I am impressed with the selection of curvature, bulbyness, smoothness and size found on Hardwood Dildos. Choices are a good thing.

After extensive sanding, the dildos are made smooth and then sealed with salad bowl sealant, so they’re good to go for ages and ages with soap and water to clean between uses. Of course, they can’t be sterilized so condoms to share, please. Any lube can be used with these dildos, which is exciting indeed. Most of the designs don’t have adequate flare to prevent getting lost in the ass, so use care when playing anally.

My dildo has an awesome curve and bumps – and it basically rules. The wood is unyielding and hard, but somehow that’s absolutely perfect. The wood seems temperature neutral when slipped inside – by that I mean it is neither hot nor cold, and it doesn’t seem to heat up with use. At the same time it’s smooth and light – it glides in and out easily and it’s easy to maneuver. When I used the toy, I wanted to use it to massage my gspot, and that’s exactly what it did. Efficiently and quickly, I squirted everywhere. In fact, the more I played with this toy, the more I loved it. No wrist cramps from a heavy toy, lots of direct pointed gspot massage, incredible bumps along the shaft and enough of a handle to maneuver with ease. What a dream.