How Smart Are These Balls?
Smartballs seem to be all the rage lately - and its for good reason. After reading a glowing review in Freddy and Eddy I decided to order myself a pair. They arrived a few months ago in a package of toys I ordered as part of operation bend-over-boyfriend (see “Christmas Surprise Ruined”). They were cheap (20 American dollars) and promised hassle-free and pleasurable pussy strengthening. How could I go wrong?When they arrived, they were packed in a refreshingly non sex toy way - it looked like some sort of educational toy from science world. There were no package vixens with fake boobs, no cartoon booty, no tasteless colours. How un-orthodox!
Perplexed, I pulled the balls from the package and studied them. They dangled giddily, silver and black eggs hanging from a plasticized string on my finger.
The string seems to be made from an inner string and an outer layer (perhaps silicone). It’s easy to imagine the coating separating from the string, as it is exposed to jarring tugs in regular use. Nevertheless, the actual string attachment to balls appears iron clad and tight - the back material enveloping the balls seems to have been molded around the string. The black material - identified as silicone by the product insert - is floppy and dull looking, highlighted around the balls with slices of harder, shiny silver plastic. The black silicone attaches the balls together with a small ½ cm diameter neck. Through use, this neck has become kinked, leading me to believe this will be the eventual downfall of my smartballs. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The fun candy-like exterior of the smartballs contains a hollow interior with a small, heavy inner metal ball. The inner ball rolls around on the hollow interior of the smartballs, causing the balls to vibrate and rattle. This vibration is enhanced by the slight elliptical in shape of the smartballs - when the inner ball starts wiggling, it takes longer to come to a halt than it would in a perfectly round ball (like a chime ball or a ben-wa ball). That’s just so smart and so elegant.
When inserting, I actually try and avoid using too much lube - just a small drop will do to slide the first ball in. If I’m not super wet, I tug on the ball lightly and play a bit to mist up enough to allow me to slip in the second one. Through trial and error, I have found that proper placement of the smartballs is key to having them stay inside - anything less that proper placement and you’ll have those balls migrating out of you. To ensure proper placement, I feed the balls in one at a time, then push them more so that they slide up almost side-by-side inside of me. When I do them, the string is barely retrievable inside of me.
With smartballs in, every step makes me slightly more aware of my aroused pussy. The jiggles feel almost crunchy if I jump up and down. When I have my smartballs in, I walk with more bounce in my step - the bounce adds to the jiggling! Riding the bus is a good deal more amusing with smartballs in place, as is that mad run to catch the bus. In most other situations however, the smartballs are easily forgotten - their vibrations are just so low impact. I tend to wear them for multi hour-long sessions, often forgetting that they’re in until I laugh a little too hard and feel that familiar crunchy jiggle. Regular use certainly does tighten up the pussy - my stamina at maintaining kegel contractions is slowly increasing. More convincingly, the Kid and I have been separated twice since I got the smart balls - and both times he’s made a surprised comment about how hard I clench upon our reuniting.
For playtime, I’ve found the smartballs a fabulous addition to a bullet vibrating in my pussy. It feels amazing - like amplified, caressing vibrations. This in combination with clitoral stimulation can produce a fast, deep, hard orgasm. The balls also feel pretty damned good being slowly pulled out. I like to tug enough to just barely keep in one ball in and repeatedly move the other one in and out again - the combination of my flexing pussy and the plopping feeling of the ball moving in and out drives me wild. Otherwise, the balls are not much of an addition to playtime (they weren’t even that fun when in place during anal sex) and in my opinion occupy space better reserved for fingers, a cock, or a proper dildo.
In conclusion? Every woman should buy and wear smart balls. When worn all day, my pussy is constantly wet and aroused, being exercised with every step, and over the past two months I have noticed a massive amount of improvement in the strength of my PC muscles. Standard wisdom says that stronger PC muscles will result in stronger orgasms (as well as prevent incontinence in older women). And now really - what woman doesn’t want to easily have stronger orgasms? For the price, smartballs are just smart - if the neck between the balls eventually breaks I will be more than happy to buy a new set.
May 3rd, 2005 at 3:59 pm
“… then push them more so that they slide up almost side-by-side inside of me…”
When you said that, did you mean you put them in horizontally? I’ve got a set too (the black & hot pink ones) and I don’t think I could get them in horizontally. I’ve got issues with only one ball staying in at a time. It’s not looseness issues, my body just automatically contracts around anything inserted and pushes it slowly back out.
Maybe I’m just weird : p
I agree with you that, while the vibrations aren’t enough to actually result in anything, the balls are enough to keep you wet and the vibrations are subtle enough to remind you that the balls are there.
Glad I sure didn’t waste my $30! : )
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:00 pm
Horizontally, but I think they bend a fair amount (hence the kink in the neck). The idea, I think, is to get them so that they’re not lined up on the slow pussy conveyor belt out. Even so, they can be reoriented and pushed out, so you also want to find a position that seems to prevent them from straightening out. I think that’s pretty anatomy dependant - on me its what I imagine to be horizontalish with a bend in the neck, way at the back.
I’ll be honest, it took a lot of wiggling, jamming, repositioning those damned balls (I felt like I was trying to discover a new g-spot or something with all the prodding I did) to figure it out. And yes, I’ve had lots of really funny public “oh god this ball is about to fall out” moments.
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:00 pm
No knickers again red? *chuckle*
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:00 pm
great post Red..I’ve always been curious about these…and your pictures are always so beautiful and classy…M
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:01 pm
This is something outside my experience. Life would be really incredible if we could change sex every couple of years. But perhaps I could mention just how beautifully neat your pussy lips look?
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:01 pm
You’ve certainly sold me!
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Have you tried the barbells or ben wa balls? I love to use the balls they are fun especially when I relax and they slip out of me.
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:02 pm
No knickers again; tis true. I’ve had a string of pussy shots, but I just had to add this one to my Smartball review - it would be a shame not to
never tried ben wa balls (or the infamous barbell)…I’m considering splurging on a set however…
Rex, I would love to have a penis, just for one night - just to know what the fuss is all about.
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:03 pm
as usual, your pussy is like a bottle of fine wine…. Beautiful.
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:03 pm
That thing looks like beads on steroids.
So, let me see if I’ve got this right, you wear them during the day as you engage in your daily routine? So it’s less of a toy and more of an appliance? If it has the effect of strengthening your pussy in such a way as to cause it to almost grip your man’s cock like a caressing hand, then he’ll be very grateful for it. The most memorable sex I’ve ever had has been with women who have that control inside their pussies. The first time I ever experienced it, I was floored by it. Keep up those “ahem” excercises Red!
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:03 pm
Red - I haven’t tried the barbell either but it’s on my list. As for my ben wa balls; I love them. Some females have to lube them up first before putting them in, I don’t. I get too excited when I put them it. They are golden so very cold at first and I like they it feels, after a few moment’s my body heats them up.
If you don’t wear panties and you don’t have much control watch out, those balls will be falling out all the time. If that’s the case get them with the strings. That way if one falls out you have the other one in attached–that will give you a little time to get where you need to go to put them back in; of course depending where you are .
Men are soooooo damn lucky that we work those PC muscles.
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Now THAT’S a review!!! you’ve touched every point anyone could ever wonder about. You know, you could get paid for doing this kind of stuff?
Especially interesting to me was the comparison between Smartballs and Ben-wa balls (which I have). I don’t see why you would want to get any of those if the elliptical design of Smartballs is better. I had never thought of trying to jam them in side-by-side…. that’s intriguing. But comfort?
My gripe with the Ben-wa balls is that
1) they do slip out with minimal bearing down (better not forget them when you go to the bathroom) and
2) when they’re in, you can barely feel them. I was expecting to feel jiggling and vibrating all day!
Think I might investigate the Smart Ball alternative next time. Thanks for doing this review.
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:04 pm
I’ve got Smartballs too. I haven’t had any problem with them falling out at all, but I agree that they’re not much of an addition to play time. My new favorite toy is Rock Chick from babeland.com. It is amazing!
BTW, the string on the Smartballs is encased in silicone too.
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:05 pm
I saw these Smart Balls in a toy shop. I didn’t really even give them much thought. But after reading your reviews, I’m sold. I think I’ll pick up a set for myself!
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:05 pm
Wow thanks for all the input.
I’ve checked time and time again - the ONLY way I can keep the smart balls in for extended periods is if they sit side by side inside of me. I sometimes have to lie down and spread my legs apart in the air to get them in place.
As of late I seem to be squirting more than ever and more often than ever. I attribute this effect to my smartballs…
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:05 pm
Ben Wa!
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:06 pm
Amen sista on the smart balls! i got mine about 2 months ago and they are my favorite toy now. i agree with everything you said. i love wearing mine out shopping, they keep a nice little buzz going all day and JUICY? man, they keep me nice and juicy. i also love a little light pussy flogging with the smart balls in. riding in my honda crv is also nice. lol. am enjoying your blog very much.
May 3rd, 2005 at 4:06 pm
Well, perhaps you should buy stock in this Smart Balls company. Based on your recommendation I bought a pair recently and, well, they are, um, interesting.
I can’t say that they’ve changed my life or anything. When I’ve worn them out and about I generally forget they are there unless I make a sudden move and then I think “what the fuck was that?”… and then I remember “oh, right, those silly balls.” Maybe that’s what they should of called them. Silly Balls. They just make me feel so silly. Like I just wanna turn to the lady in line behind me at the checkout counter and say “Hey, you wanna know something funny? I have two plastic blue and grey balls shoved inside my pussy right now and everytime I wiggle they vibrate and tickle inside me. Isn’t that so silly?!”
August 22nd, 2007 at 3:20 pm
I think that are so hot if i had a pussy i’d get some
just saying that ur pussy is the best i’ve seen your lips are so hot i want more pic’s
November 3rd, 2007 at 11:15 am
[...] Now, some of my readers may remember me signing the praises of SmartBalls back in the day (see: How Smart Are These Balls?). That was a while ago, and those balls have seen a lot of use in the meantime. Very recently, the string wore apart and I chose to retire them as a result. It was a sad day. [...]
January 28th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
lanky says he saw ur blog and loved em. Hav a cheaper version and they got stuck. ordered the smart balls now
January 29th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
hi guys i lost my v 2 my nan. boy it was gd. my ginger pubes go nicely with the orage balls. Wen i was messin with them i squirted sum juice on 2 me mckenzie bin bag. i cried. boo hoo. wen i get bac 2 work im guna duff jay oakley up 4 demonstrating how 2 use these balls. he got me started and played with my nipples. bye sxy
January 29th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
hola those balls fit nicely in my sombrero do they come in extra extra extra extra extra extra extra large. im a big spanish tart. i mean turk
January 29th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
If I were going to leave a “burn” in a comment on a blog, I would try and make it seem clever. Maybe that’s just me.
February 3rd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
hi red wot is a burn? and is that ur vagina in the pic? esta manyana bye
February 3rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
hey its me again